Sleep training works. But timing matters more than method. I've seen families start too early and hit a wall. I've seen families wait so long that habits became entrenched. Before you pick an approach, walk through this checklist honestly. If you can't check most of these boxes, waiting a few weeks usually produces better results than pushing through.
Baby at Least 4-6 Months
Before four months, most babies aren't developmentally ready for sleep training. Their sleep architecture is still maturing, and their ability to self-soothe is limited. Some pediatricians say four months, some say six. I generally start at four months for healthy, full-term babies, but I assess individually. Premature babies should go by adjusted age, not birth date.
Pediatrician Green Light
Tell your pediatrician you're considering sleep training. They need to confirm there are no medical issues affecting sleep — reflux, ear infections, allergies, weight gain concerns. If your baby is still needing to gain weight, nighttime feeds may still be necessary, and that changes the approach.
Night Feedings Not Necessary
This doesn't mean your baby has stopped waking to eat. It means your pediatrician has confirmed that your baby is gaining well and can go longer stretches without eating. Many babies at four to six months still benefit from one night feed. Sleep training doesn't have to mean eliminating all night feeds — but you need to know which feeds are hunger and which are habit.
Not in a Major Transition
Don't start sleep training during a move, a new daycare start, a parent returning to work, a new sibling arriving, an illness, or a sleep regression. Your baby's world needs to feel stable for sleep training to take hold. If something big just happened or is about to happen, wait until things settle.
Baby Can Self-Settle (Even Briefly)
Does your baby ever fall asleep without being rocked, fed, or held? Even once? Even for a nap in the car seat that you didn't plan? If so, they have the capacity for self-settling. Sleep training builds on that capacity. If your baby has never once fallen asleep without direct intervention, it might be slightly harder, but it's still possible — it just means they haven't had the opportunity yet.
You're Emotionally Ready
This is the one parents skip, and it matters more than they think. Sleep training involves some crying. Not all methods involve a lot, but all involve some. If you're not ready to hear your baby cry and maintain the plan, you'll bail halfway through, which is worse than not starting. It teaches your baby that crying hard enough changes the outcome.
There is no shame in not being ready. Come back to this in a few weeks.
Partner On Board
If you have a partner, they need to be fully on board. Not "fine with it" or "willing to try." Actually committed. Because at 1 AM when the baby is crying and one of you wants to pick them up, you need to be on the same page. Disagreement in the middle of the night undermines everything.
Realistic Expectations
Sleep training doesn't mean your baby will never wake up again. It means they'll learn to fall asleep independently and, most of the time, connect sleep cycles without needing you. Some babies sleep through after two nights. Some take a week. Some need a brief refresher after illness or travel. Expect progress, not perfection.
No Underlying Sleep Issues
Sleep apnea, severe reflux, and significant tongue or lip ties can all interfere with sleep training. If your baby snores, gasps during sleep, arches their back in pain after feeds, or has difficulty with latch, address those issues first. Sleep training on top of a physical problem doesn't work — it just makes everyone miserable.
Established Bedtime Routine
You don't need an elaborate routine, but you need a consistent sequence of events before sleep. Bath, pajamas, feed, book, song, crib — or whatever works for your family. The routine should take 20 to 30 minutes and end in the room where your baby sleeps. If you don't have a routine yet, start one two weeks before you plan to sleep train. Let it become familiar.
Ready to Commit for a Week
Sleep training requires consistency for at least five to seven consecutive nights. No travel, no houseguests, no big disruptions. Clear your schedule as much as you can. The first two or three nights are the hardest. If you can get through those without changing your approach, the rest usually follows. If you know you have a trip coming up or a disruption planned, wait until after.
If you checked most of these boxes, your baby is probably ready. The method you choose matters less than the consistency with which you apply it. And if you want someone in the room with you — someone who has done this hundreds of times, who can read your baby's cues, and who can coach you through the hard moments in real time — that's what I do.
